‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (as retold by two cats)

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (as retold by two cats)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the tiny apartment

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (but it would be totally rad if there was a real mouse here);

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The stockings were hung on the bookshelf with care,

In hopes that Cat Nicholas soon would be there.

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The kitties were nestled all snug in their new tree that sits by the window when the sunshine streams into the apartment which is awesome

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While visions of being a big fierce cat danced in their heads

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Big Cat Week on Discovery is wicked cool!
This is my "mountain lion in a tree" look.
This is my “mountain lion in a tree” look.

And Jameson in this box, and I in the closet,

Had just settled our paws for a long winter’s (cat)nap.

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When out in the apartment there arose such a clatter

We lazily stretched and got up to see what was the matter.

Away to the living room we sauntered,

Nosed around, and got very curious.

The twinkle lights on the window blinds,

Gave the luster of  mischief to objects below;

When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,

But a Christmas tree, and other intriguing decorations

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With lights and shiny stuff, so tempting and low to the ground

We knew in a moment, it must all be for us to play with.

More rapid than eagles, we finally came

And we chewed, and played, and got yelled at by Mom:

“No! Kitties, no! Kitties, no! Stay away from that,

“Stop bad cat, stop! Don’t play with the tree or the ribbons

“Leave alone the ribbons! Leave alone the lights!

“Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

Who us?
Who us?

As small birds that before the wild cat fly,

When they meet with its paws, mount to the sky

So up to the cat tree-top the kitties they flew

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With mouths full of bows—and pine needles too

 And then in a twinkling, we heard in the kitchen

The cooking and roasting of Christmas dinner.

As we drew up our heads and were turning around,

Down on the floor, a turkey fell with a thud:

He was dress’d all with stuffing from his chest cavity to legs.

And his skin was all crispy with butter and rub

A bunch of juice was still in the pan,

And it looked like the most delicious thing we ever could eat

Mom’s eyes—how they did not twinkle! Her face: how scary!

Our whiskers were twitching, our noses were smelling;

Our little cat tongues licked our little cat chops

And the teeth in our mouths showed as white as the snow;

The meat of that turkey was soon held tight in our teeth

And the pan it encircled our heads like a wreath.

He had broad legs, and a little round belly

That tasted much better than a bowl full of cat food.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old feast

And Mom laughed when she saw us in spite of herself;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head

Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

While we finished the turkey, turned with a jerk,

 And laying the trash can aside of the mess,

And giving a sob, she threw out the carcass.

She sprung to her feet, to Dad gave a yell

As away we flew, like the two bats out of hell:

But we heard her exclaim, ere we ran out of sight–

Honey, order some Chinese, the cats just ate our Christmas dinner.

Okay, so maybe the second half of that poem didn’t happen (unfortunately), but we have had fun getting into trouble playing with the Christmas tree and presents. We’ll give the blog back to Mom now…

As we come to the end of the Advent season and look forward to the joy of Christmas tomorrow, we wish you and yours a blessed celebration!

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